Medical Body Checkup

For those of you who still haven't gotten wind of it. I'm going to Launceston, Tasmania, Australia to further my studies coming this July. I'll be taking my Bachelor of Aquaculture at the Australian Maritime College(AMC) under the University of Tasmania(UTAS).

So, having received my CoE today, I went down to IDP KL and quickly applied for my VISA, and one of the main requirements of obtaining a VISA would be to go through a body checkup and have to doctor pronounce u sound of health. Seriously, it wasn't fun. Those of you thinking it's quite routine, slap urself and wake up!!

First of all, the nurses were definitely not the type I would call nice, I personally thought they'd be more at home at a military outpost. The first one I met snapped at me the moment she saw that I accidentally filled in certain parts of the form that was supposed to be filled in by her. She even threated to throw the form away and make me go prepare a new one(old hag!!). N there I was thinking that I had saved her the trouble of doing it.......... Next was the stupid X-ray. They told me to take off my shirt, and then ordered me to stick my bare check to some piece of freezing cold metal and they didn't leave it at that. The cruel nurses had to shout at me to stay still. I mean, the metal's freaking cold and I'm not wearing my shirt! How'd u expect me to stand still? Luckily, I managed to just do that for the 1 second they pressed the trigger to take the X-ray image. Talk bout good timing?

Oh yeah, then there's the urine test. They gave me a tiny little cup and told me to fill it up. At first, I thought the cup would be more than enough to fill whatever I had to release as I didn't have a particular full bladder today. I lament how wrong I was............... The cup started to fill up, 1 quarter, half, 3 quarters and I was still going and I was like 'STOP!!!!!!!!!!! Shit, this is gonna be so messy!!!!!!' All u guys out there know how hard it is to stop it when u've already started going at it. Just as the champagne was getting ready to spill over, the supply came to a halt. But that was not the end of it. I still had the task of pulling up my pants with one hand, while hoping that my cold sweat wouldn't drip into the very full cup which I was trying to balance using my trembling other hand. God if there were any, this was one where I really wished I was strong in the force and could use some Jedi trick to stop the liquid from spilling. In the end, when I came out of the little room, all the nurse did was dip some sort of litmus paper into it and told me to throw all the rest away. All that trouble for just this? WTF!!!!!

When I thought all my torture was over, I was called in to see the physician/doctor. At first, it was just normal stuff, he checked my blood pressure, looked into my throat, ears, etc.......... That was till he told me to take off my shirt and lie on the bed. Then he started massaging my stomach, checking for what, I don't know. Ok, for those of you who don't know, I'm super-duper even uber afraid of being tickled. So u could imagine how it was for me. Trust me, it got so intolerable and lasted so long that I really started wondering whether I was still in a clinic doing a medical checkup? Or rather had just been transported into some dungeon's torture chamber in ancient China. Hey, if the silly white boy could drop off a roof into ancient China in the movie Forbidden Kingdom, why can't I be tickled into it??

Well, when the tickling stopped(actually its more like prodding, but I shall call it tickling). The physician told me to strip off the rest of my clothes. Ok...............I did sorta guessed that he'd ask me to do that. But this was kinda sudden. Dude, I'm not ready! (Not with a guy at least and an old one at that) But it was still ok until he told me to look to my left with him standing on my right. I mean, HELL NO!!! I'm not gonna leave my most precious there bare for this old torturer to attack with my back towards him. That was when I looked into his eyes and realized that resistance was futile. Somehow, through some special ability of his, he gave me the message, crisp and clear that if there was any sudden movement from me, there was something new, worse and more unbearable than anything I could fathom that he could do to me. So, reluctantly, I turned my head, praying to every GOD and spirit that I thought would be willing to protect my best friend. I even considered for a second to offer my soul to Satan in exchange for dearest's well being. That was when the physician told me to cough hard. I could hear myself ask myself in slow motion 'wuuuuuuuuuuuut?!?!" I mean, HOLY SHIT!!! What sort of sick fetish does this guy have?!?! Coughing and a magic wand??? What a freakin' weird combination! This guy better hope he has a strong jaw, my clenched fist were ready to come crashing uninvited to win my freedom. But that was when I remembered that stare of his and I chickened out, and did a little cough which he wasn't satisfied with. Prompting him to demand that I cough harder. He must be an Alien! But somehow, after following through with his last request. He told me to dress up and leave. Maybe he wasn't satisfied, maybe he'd already reached an orgasm in his pants(if he was an Alien, not even sure if what he'd get was an orgasm). I didn't dare look. I just quickly dressed up and ran for the door. Phew..........safe at last!!

I swear, the next time I do a medical checkup, I'll demand that I'd be checked by cute nurses in small, tight uniforms and a smoking hot physician who has a thong hidden underneath her white coat. At least then, I would actually enjoy the torture.

Complicated

Why must it all be so complicated?
Always telling me to think twice,
Does it really make you all that more wise?
Why can't I just act before I think,
Speak faster than my eyes can blink?
Why does everyone have to be so deep?
What's wrong with being shallow?
Damn, it's better than being hollow!!
Stop dragging me into your complicated world,
Messing up my life in it's messy swirl,
Do you even remember the last time you smiled?
Glad you've noticed it's been a long while,
Seriously, that happiness you thought you saw?
Was just a mirage on the desert floor,
No matter what you may think or say,
At least I'm happy in my simple, little, not so complicated way.

Fat Panther

'Fat Panther'.
That's exactly what my cousin sister told her mum what she thought of me.
Apparently, the reason she gave was cause she feels that I'm fat and that I can run very fast.
Kids say the darnest things.....

But then again, they can get you into all sorts of trouble.
I hate it when they have to repeat everything u tell them to their parents.

Just the other day, I was playing, 'tickle' with a few of my cousins.
Not unexpectedly, considering they were boys, it got a little rough.
Instead of tickling me, they started scratching me.
That was when I blurt out 'God, if I had a gf, it's gonna be hard explaining these scratch marks.'
Being kids, they absorbed it like a sponge, and on the way back home they started talking amongst themselves at the back seat.
Giggling all the way discussing the happenings of the day.
When they reached the part about my little 'comment' giggles broke into laughter.
Their mum, aka my 'xiao yee' was curious so she asked them what was so funny.
N they told her everything.
When she told my mum about it, I could feel my 'bad influence' meter pushing the limits like Hamilton in an F1 car.
Damn.

PS: had a little adventure on Friday night, read more about it here.

Diving License!!!

I read that a picture says a thousand words.

I have four pictures here.
Need I say more?

He-Man??!!

I once said that I'd forget myself and pee in my pants,
if they'd make a movie outa Thundercats.

I'd like to add another to that list.

HE-MAN!!!!!!

Came across this article on the net.
If it really happens, I swear to GOD I'll weep like a new born baby.

The last He-Man movie made was incidentally, in the year I was born.
I remember watching it ages ago when I still had my chicken pillow(or was it the cat pillow, I can't recall).
But I definitely still remember how much in awe I was of Teela He-Man.
N then of course, there were the cartoon series.

Damn, thinking back, I was lucking to be an 80's baby.
I mean, we had Thundercats, Transformers, He-Man, Voltron and so much more.
Should start making a list of cartoon's I've watched growing up.
Then go search for it and watch it all over again to appease the inner child in me.
What can I say?
I'm a big kid, raring to pop the lid!!
(I know that sounds corny but this is my blog, loathe and love baby!)

Buang Air Besar/Buang Air Kecil

Saw this hanging outside the public toilet at the Merang jeti.
Seriously, how the hell is the fella gonna know if I was taking a shit or just peeing in there?

Why Chivalry Will Die

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