Younger By The Day

Lately I got news that my 14 year old cousin bro has a gf.
Better still, the girl's not from around the neighborhood.
Yeah, she's all the way in KELANTAN.
Talk bout networking!!!

Lol, when I was 14, I was still goofing around, dirt in my nails, hair not combed(still so), wearing over sized shirts. Was impossible I had a gf.

And when I was just thinking bout how much the world has changed, I got another shock just yesterday.

Was eating dinner with my relatives, and was sitting with the bunch of little brats when a certain 8 year old cousin told me a story.
Story bout how in school his friend told him that how the actor places his KKJ(kukujiao) into the actresses butt.
The whole table of little kids started laughing.

Not only that, he even asked me if I've watched a show called 'DERAILED' which according to him was supposed to be filled with the 'F' word.

Then another talked bout how in another show he saw the actress appear only wearing her bra, and before he could finish his sentence, I sorta cut him short cause he was shouting and the people from the next table were not deaf.

All this from pre-puberty kids?

I feel so decent all of a sudden.

Enchanted

Yeah, the movie.
Didn't know it was a love story.
Ended up watching it with a bunch of 'ma lat lou'. ( How romantic ?!!)

Anyway, the movie was kinda nice though in the beginning I was kinda worried it was gonna end up being just another cartoon.......

And then there was this scene where all the cockroaches came out.
I was kinda worried it was gonna be a constant fixture in the show, but I knew they were goners the moment the pigeon ate one of them.
HAHA!! TAI SEI!!

One thing bout the show though, was that Giselle(the pretty princes to-be in the movie) was really SWEET!!
I don't care that she was just plain acting cute all the time.
And the fact that it's not genuine.
Also that no real girl could act like that the whole day.(pun not intended)
I mean the way she wore that innocent face the whole day.
I wouldn't have noticed if she had a knife in her hand pointed at me.

Sometimes it really makes u wonder WHAT IF fairy tales were true!!
Now I sound like the 6 year old girl in the show.
But whatever right??

Highlight of the movie?
Giselle's Girl-Next-Door look with her nice ass to match.

Sound of Silence

Back home in my room,
In my sanctuary,
Peaceful and tranquil,
I'm finally left to indulge myself,
In myself,
The sound of silence echoes through me,
Taking my thoughts far away,
Recalling long forgotten thoughts,
Dreams long lost,
Finding me once again,
A younger me,
smiling back at me,
Yes, I've come a long way,
But just like then,
Knowing not what tomorrow brings,
Yet setting my sight years ahead,
Always hoping the best,
Expecting the worst,
Dreaming of things that may or may not come to be.

SWT!!!

(12:29 AM)someguy:	hi
(1:36 AM) me:	hey
(1:36 AM) me:	do i know u?
(1:39 AM) someguy:	long time liao le..u add me dy..
(1:39 AM)someguy:	i am guy nt gal (hello? telling me ur sex isnt gonna help me identify u)
(1:39 AM) me:	i didnt add u lah
(1:39 AM) me:	cause ur not on my list
(1:40 AM)someguy:	means u del me liao lo
(1:40 AM)someguy:	zzz (wow, great move trying to make friends)
(1:40 AM)someguy:	ok ba
(1:40 AM)someguy:	u from maluri school?
(1:40 AM) me:	no (u definitely don't know me)
(1:42 AM)someguy:	k ba
(1:42 AM)someguy:	den i also del u lo.
(1:43 AM) me:	ok (like whatever right??)

I think I vaguely recall now what was the reason I deleted the guy in the first place.
You guessed it!
LAMENESS.................|||-__-

Clumsiness

I'm not too sure why, maybe it's because of my huge mass. But well, since coming to Terengganu, this flaw of mine seems to have been on full fledge showing.

I can remember the time when I was having a pillow fight with my friends and dived into a bed. Well the bed broke and sinked in. HAHA! Laugh all u want but that is not all.

Next one happened during a certain Cotton Island Trip.

Then just a few days ago, I broke a chair by just merely laying my ass a little harder than I would usually. I know this is not the first chair I destroyed, but this was like super hilarious cause it didn't break at the legs but rather there was a crack right through the middle. Looks like an earthquake had hit it.

Then a day after that chair stunt, I broke my friend's motorbike's number plate.
Pai Seh!!!
So sorry lah, didn't mean it!!
Blame my leg for being so naughty lah!!!

Damn I hate being clumsy.

Aries Man

An Aries man is full of surprises and excitement and hates monotony and dullness in life. Romance with him will be like a roller coaster ride, where you don't get even a single moment to think and brood. However, it's better not to expect him to understand that you need some security every now and then. Consistency is something that does not gel well with his characteristics profile. The love of an Aries male will warm you with passion one minute and the very next minute, you may feel as if you are sitting in the North Pole.

Don't ever be rude to him, he will be very hurt and will turn into the coldest person on this earth. You will have to start from the scratch again, to get back the comfort level you once shared. He is highly energetic and always full of creative ideas. You will have to keep up with his energy levels and are bound to get tired in the process, atleast mentally. An Aries guy will always remain young at heart, even when he gets 90 years old. Slow moves make him impatient. He is one of those who always move ahead of others, boldly and confidently.

He is generous in the matters of time and money, is full of compassion and always tries to cheer the people around him. However, just like a baby, he can get very irritated, inconsiderate and difficult when his needs are not met or get delayed for too long. Negativity annoys him. When an Aries male falls in love, he becomes extremely dedicated towards it. If the commitment fails to develop into a successful relationship, he will try his best to salvage it and make it work again. Still, if it breaks up, he will brood over it for sometime.

Then, the sun will again shine for him and he will fall in love again, with the same fierce devotion and loyalty. An Aries man believes in true love and will constantly be in search of it, though it may require mending his heart numerous times in the process. He will be very passionate in love and you will never get the chance to complain about the lack of romance. Right from poetry to candlelight dinners, you will be treated to anything and everything. He is not the one to hold back anything, especially in love.

It is advisable that you don't hold back your emotions too. An Aries guy is very expressive and will expect the same from you. Remember to show that you love him and care for him. You must also learn to behave like the heroine in novels and storybooks. When in love, he is very faithful and way too honest and idealistic to fool you. He was not born to indulge in things like promiscuity or even harmless flirtations. However, if you are not able to cope up with his constant need for enthusiasm and romance, he may try to look somewhere else.

An Aries man will never start another affair behind your back. He is one of those who first end old relationships and then move on to the next one. Even before something like this happens, he will let you know that things are not going as smooth as they were. He will try to make things work. Still, if situation doesn't improve or you do not do anything to improve it, he will decide to move on. The key to lasting love is always in your hands. Keep the romance alive and he will never even look at the hottest babe in the block.

If you are trying to get an Aries male interested in you, play hard to get. He loves challenges and will soon be running after you. Don't make the first move or you will lose him forever. He likes to lead in case of love also. However, do not try the jealousy invoking tricks shown in the movies. Forget actual flirting, even a teasing look at another man will make him go thousand miles away from you. He is extremely possessive and exceedingly jealous. An Aries man will want to be your first consideration and cannot tolerate being sidelined for anyone else. He wants you to trust him blindly, but he won't do the same for you.

He wants his freedom and doesn't like being tied down. That's the way he is, take it or leave it. However, you know it's impossible to leave him. He is so loyal, caring, loving, kind and affectionate. There are some Aries men who appear very quiet, but inside, they are as lively and full of life as any other male of this zodiac. Just give them some time and they will soon be their usual Aries self. Aries man is rebellious at heart and loves to go against the conventions. He needs to learn virtues like humility and modesty.

The learning process may hurt him and then, he will rush to you to be reassured. Remember to build his bruised ego once again or he will be very hurt. If you want to be with him forever, learn to manage his damaged confidence and show total belief in him. Never ever take the side of someone who is against him, even when he is wrong. You have to love what he loves and hate what he hates. For an Aries man, this is what true love and devotion means. He will give all this to you and expect the same in return.

If he is angry with you, there is no reason to worry for any damage to your relationship. It is his passivity you need to be afraid of. His anger may result in some very harsh and rude words, but it won't last long. He will usually be the first one to say sorry after a fight and will expect you to forgive and forget. You should know that he never meant what he said in anger. An Aries man will always be there for you, to take care of you. However, he will never curb your freedom. He always dominates the house and won't tolerate constant nagging. But then, he is that guy who will romance with you even on your 75th anniversary!

Taking Time Out To Chill

追女生技巧

This is just damn hilarious. Enjoy!!

Anti-Virus

If u've been plague by constant software virus attacks on all ur electronic devices such as ur laptop, hp and so on........

WORRY NO MORE

cause the ultimate unbreakable anti-virus is here!!!

-No installation
-Just copy and paste it to whatever device u want protected
-No hidden charges, it's totally FREE!!!

Click here to download!

金亚中

This is what I call a pleasant distraction.

Cotton Island Trip

U know, during the trip I thought that it would all be normal fare. Just a fun and simple trip. A dance or two like this one below.



I should seriously consider losing some weight........

Madness & Happiness

Got things mixed up. Did the wrong tag. Sister tagged me for the little things in life that makes me happy. So here goes.....

1. Playing the guitar so loud that it drowns out other people's complains.
2. Playing football with pals.
3. Blogging nonsense and having comments from friends.(See, I really appreciate it!)
4. Composing poems/songs. (But most of the time I just kinda do it in my head and forget bout it later.)
5. Checking out chicks.(Sadly, they're a rare breed here in Terengganu.)
6. Being complimented. (come on I'm human, but I'm not stupid, I can tell the differences between a genuine one and a fake one)
7. Watching movies/tv series
8. Fooling around with the software on the pc/psp/whatever I can get my hands on. (Need to learn some programing skills to have more fun!!)
9. Driving a manual car. Just gives me a kick.
10. Scuba diving.(ok, not so little considering the exorbitant prices u have to pay for dives)
11. Eating. Good food that is. Bad food is a torture worthy of Hell.
12. Being at home. There's just a comfort that can never ever be replaced or duplicated anywhere else.

Tagged

Che, suppose this is that tag u asked me to do.................

Layer One: On The Outside
Name: Ah Kenn
Birth Date: 5 APRIL 1987
Current status: single loh……..
Eye Colour: Brown
Hair Colour: Black I suppose
Righty or Lefty: Righty

Layer Two: On The Inside
Your Heritage: Mostly Chinese with some Indonesian roots
Your Fears: Cockroaches
Your Weaknesses: wussyness
Your Perfect Pizza: Cheese, pineapple, mayo with LOTSA meat (ham, bacon etc)

Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your Thoughts First Waking Up: I hate my lecturer
Your Bedtime: whenever it pleases me
Your Most Missed Memory: erm…erm…….feeling kinda greedy

Layer Four: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
Single or Group Dates: Sadly inexperienced in this field
Adidas or Nike: can afford neither
Tea or Nestea: will make me shiver the whole day and lose lotsa precious sleep time
Chocolate or Vanilla: If ever there was a chocolate heaven!!
Cappuccino or Coffee: I act like a drug addict after caffeine………….

Layer Five: Do You...
Smoke: Hell yeah!! Cause I’m just way too hot!
Drink: Love it!! Alcoholic in the house!!!
Curse: After every sentence when my parents are not listening
Have a crush: Wow………ages and ages ago………….
Think you've been in love: Kinda confused, now what is what??
Go to school: Once upon a happy time. Yes.
Want to get married: Which dying rich old hag who’ll leave everything to me??
Believe in yourself: and nothing/no-one else.
Think you're a health freak: Couldn’t give a damn.

Layer Six: In The Past Month Have you...
Drank alcohol: Too many times for my own good.
Gone to the mall: Erm, that’s the sad thing bout Terengganu
Been on stage: When no one’s around? Yeah, just for the fun of it
Eaten sushi: Fuck Terengganu!!
Dyed your hair: Nah………..

Layer Seven: Have You Ever...
Played A Stripping Game: Shamefully, only with guys. *Rolls eyes and say: ‘and a hell lotsa fun that was……’*
Changed Who You Were To Fit In: Hehehehehehe

Layer Eight: You're Hoping To Be
Married: with someone who won’t mind me one bit
For a: laid back life, carefree life

Layer Nine: In a Boy (For guys, In a Gal)
Best Eye + Best Hair Color Combination: Black and black again
Short Hair or Long Hair: I dunno if I really even care…..

Layer Ten: What Were You Doing
1 Min Ago: Answering the last question
1 Hour Ago: Sawing wood
4.5 Hours Ago: Sawing wood
1 Month Ago: Terengganu
1 Year Ago: Terengganu
(Who remembers this stuff??)

Layer Eleven: Finish The Sentence
I Love: High tech gadgets
I Feel: exhausted
I Hate: people
I Hide: my secrets???
I Need: more money than I can spend

Layer Twelve: Tag Five People
don’t bother….I won’t read it. I did this since my sister asked me to…………….

Sekayu Trip

Went to Sekayu for sampling, and all I can say is that we got bored..........

Yeah, we saw something u ppl cant see.

Hui

Me

Hien

Ultraman C and Y to the rescue

And we took some videos.........







Hui, I heard ur comments.........

ps: if any of u find these videos offensive, please don't sue me.

Beat Boxing

Awesome eh??

PSP ver 3.11 Downgrader

Special thanks to Fanjita and the Noobz Team for coming up with this downgrader/HEN. I Owe u guys big time!!!! Also thanks to the members of the homebrew scene. U ppl rock!!!

Hari Peladang, Penternak dan Nelayan

A few weeks back, they had this
'Hari Peladang, Penternak dan Nelayan' exhibit at Pantai Batu Buruk in Kuala Terengganu.
So as a dedicated student of Fisheries, I had to check out the exhibit.
Partly cause I needed a sample of any puffer fish product to be used in my presentation.
My lecturer said that we might get lucky at the Sarawak booth cause it seems that they consume puffer fish unlike here at the Peninsular where puffer fish is treated as a by-catch in fisheries.
Another was I thought it would be just plain fun.
Terengganu can get boring............Despite me vouching for it all the time.

But instead of finding puffer fish.
I found that this exhibit was nothing more than a great show of balls .
Literally.......................

Balls......more balls.....

small balls.....

long balls.....

short balls.....

fair balls.......

sagging balls......

polka dot balls......

hardly visible balls..........

weird shaped balls......

black balls........

and finally sharp balls.......

Don't ever mess with these farmers, cause they sure are full of balls.
Who knows what they are capable of doing in their ball charged furry?!?

Fishing Rods

Well, this sem I've taken an elective subject, Recreational Fishing.
The course requires us to OWN our own fishing set, consisting of the fishing rod, machine etc.
So I got myself a set too.

But sadly enough,
on my first fishing trip with this new rod,
I lost it to some savage fish while I was eating.
The rod was dragged into the water and that was the last I ever saw of it.

In Loving memory...................sniff* sniff* >< I meant the ROD, not me!!!!

Moving on,
since I lost my rod and I have another fishing trip at Pulau Bidong this coming weekend,
I had to get a new rod.

So......................................
TA DA!!! Ain't she a beauty??!?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

But my happiness was short lived.
The bill showed up.
DAMN!!!!!!!!!

I'm officially broke,
care to donate??
Send me an email at ah_kenn@hotmail.com
or add me on Windows Live Messenger.
COLD HARD CASH is preferred.

Birthday Present

A little late but whatever lah!

Yeah, my pal SillyTan promised to outdo himself this year again.
Last year he got me a pair of T-back underwear.
This year, he made me swear to wear the present even before I knew what it was.
This can only mean one thing.
DISASTER!!

Don't ask me how and why I ever agreed to it.
But I really did wear it.
Once.
And I swear, unless some hot chick says she'll only have sex with me if I wear it for her.
That'll be the first and last.
Sorry JJ, but that thing really uncomfortable lah.............

Anyway, this is what the self claimed sex genius got me.

Don't ask me what it is.
Unless u plan on putting it on too.

I Don't Mean to be MEAN, but..........

Was doing my lab report, reading through the part my group mate did and DAMN did it wake me up!

For those of you who cant see clearly.
Under the column for organism, my group mate scribbled 'CRAPS' which was supposed to be spelled 'CRABS'. Even more amusing, instead of 'EAGLE' he rechristened the majestic bird 'HELANG BIRD'.

And people say that living in Terengganu is a bore..................

Cough!!!

Got 2 lab reports to hand in tomorrow. And I'm SICK!!!!!! Thanks so much to the procrastinator in me-_-"

Malaysian Deejays Are Out To Get Us

I was listening to the radio while driving today and I heard this one advertisement. The deejays were giving reasons why Malaysia is great. They said that one of it is cause that there's so many ways we Malaysians cook 'KETAM'. They were going down a list, mentioning curry ketam, cili ketam, marmite ketam, steamed ketam.......and the list goes on. And then out of no where, one of the deejays said ketam stim and the both of them chuckled.......... I seriously think that they were plotting to have me killed, cause I nearly banged into the car in front laughing too hard.

Royally Pissed!!!!

Don't ask me who and why,
I just hate those fucking bitches,
Spoiling my mood,
Contaminating the air that I breathe,
Blinding my eyes,
With their filthy smile,
Giving me rashes,
Every time they 'molest' me,
When they ever gonna learn?
That they're so hideous,
Even roses wither in their presence,
God damn it,
Can't they just leave me alone??!?!?!

This Sucks!!!

Guess what? Just back at my Uni, and what I find out? That my course juniors.............. only amount up to 27 students this year. And the really fucked up part bout it is that there's not even 1 Chinese!!! Du lan!!! But at least the over all amount of Chinese enrolling this year at the uni has increased to over 300 ppl. Hopefully, there'll be 'fish' to catch. I mean, how can a future fisherman survive without 'fish' to catch? One can only wonder.................

Monkey Majik

Can't find the video for Monkey Majik - Around The World. So substituted it with Picture Perfect, which is wicked too. Enjoy!!!

Watched Transformers

Went and watch Transformers alone, cause I'm single and most of my friends have already watched it without me. And even worst, it didn't meet up to my expectations. Maybe it's because they placed too little attention on the personality side of the robot.

All I remember was the robots just showed up, bing, bang, bash, and not to forget KABOOM then the movie was over. It was like the robots just showed up to fight(and die in certain cases). I mean, I'm just not too damn interested in Sam Wic-whatever's silly little life.

At the very least, I sorta hoped that Optimus Prime would have given a little Pep Talk to the Autobots before they went into battle. And I also hoped for more conspiracy from the Decepticons. All they showed was Megatron saying how disappointed he is in Starscream and next, at the end of the show, you see that all that is left of the Decepticons is Starscream escaping into space. Isn't that just too SHALLOW for plot?!?!

But hey, maybe I'm just depressed cause I had to watch it alone. And on top of that, they actually stopped the movie halfway through due to technical problems.

All in all, I'd still rate it GREAT, after all, the visuals(the girl checking Bumble Bee for one) was still something. But If you'd ask me, which movie I would give the highest rating "UBER AWESOME", I'd say that for now..........it's PERFUME - Story Of A Murderer. Here's the trailer for teasers, if you really wanna know how UBER AWESOME Perfume is, you'd have to really watch the movie.

Avril Lavigne

I absolutely loathe her,
Loathe her for being,
My only weak link,
Dancing in that children's outfit,
In her 'Girlfriend' video,
When she's supposed to be married!
For singing that song,
'When You're Gone',
Which causes my tears to spill,
Even after I told myself to 'Keep Holding On',
She's the cause,
Turning me from 'Nobody's Fool' to everybody's fool,
Screaming like a school girl,
Every time she appears on TV,
I loathe her in so many ways,
I guess it all started,
When I first heard 'Complicated',
It made me 'Fall To Pieces',
Lose 'My Happy Ending',
As it 'Slipped Away',
Cause I was 'Losing Grip',
Now all I hope is that someone,
Would 'Take Me Away',
So I could 'Runaway',
From her 'Contagious' songs.

Dawn

Bottles are empty,
Heads are light,
It time to leave,
As me and the lads say our goodbyes,
And drive into the dark,
Heading home after a long night's partying,
Zooming on the highway,
Avoiding the sparse traffic at such hours,
The occasional flash of neon lights from the opposite blinds my eyes,
Adding pain to my already pounding brain,
Slowly as I nearly reach home,
I see a light unlike that emitted from other vehicles,
Start to brighten not only the road but also the sky,
As I hastily turn the last conner into my lane,
Finally pulling up in front of my house,
I raced from the car to the gates,
Letting myself in with the keys with much urgency,
Badly needing to sleep after such a long night,
It almost seems as though I was a vampire,
Afraid of the approaching dawn,
As I make my way up to my room,
I felt like I was racing against the coming of light,
Racing to shut the door,
And close the curtains,
Before the first sun light of day could shine in,
Despite being dirty and foul smelling,
I turned on the air conditioner,
And threw myself on my bed,
As everything outside burst to life with light,
I cuddled comfortably under my comforter,
And almost instantly fell into a deep slumber,
Which would last till night befall again.

PSP Troubles

Well, bought a PSP lately. Was like kinda happy I did cause it's really cool and fun to use. And well, I found out online that I could actually play with it(customize). Like say add home brew programs that let me use it to play game boy games, Nintendo games and so on. And well, I even tried to change the theme by changing the 'flash0' file. But I forgot to make a backup and bricked my psp. Had to recover it using some home brew program. Thank GOD it worked. But I ended up updating it using official Sony firmware, instead of using the open edition. And now I'm stuck at firmware version 3.11 and can't downgrade back to v1.50 so that I can install the open edition firmware. Can't use any of the home brew programs I have now. Honestly, this sucks........ it's like how a gymnast suddenly gets locked joints and cant bent anymore. Kinda frustrating, hope that guy DARK ALEX can get a v3.11 downgrader out and save my day. If only I knew how to hack stuff...then that'll be cool. But too bad I cant, so I guess I'll just have to rely on others. Have to patiently wait till it comes out.....Well, hope it'll be sooner rather than later.

Transformers

Can't wait for that movie to come out. I watched the trailer and I'm like.....if the movie was half as good it'll be already AWESOME!!! Miss transformers lah. Remember I used to watch it as a lil kid. Almost peed in my pants while watching the trailer, not cause I was scared, cause I suddenly forgot and thought I was still that lil kid in my diapers. Now, if they'd make a movie outa THUNDERCATS, then I'd really really forget myself and pee in my pants for sure.

Reminiscence

Where is my youth?
The childhood I miss,
Teenage years I wasted,
Days I went on 'adventure rides',
Days I played football everyday,
Days I stared at the sky in wonder,
Days I dream all day,
Days I skinned my knees,
Days I rode my bike full speed down the hill with my hands in the air shouting at the top of my lungs!!!
Days I had no worries,
Days I had no troubles,
Days I long for,
Days that are long gone.

What now of my future?
Left or right?
Stay or leave?
Wait or pursue?
Think or just do it?!!!
Only time can tell,
But could it be too late?
Yeah........only time can tell.

Step back,
From the present,
Go back,
To times I had a smile on my face,
Run back,
To my child-time sanctuary,
Look back,
With a longing heart,
Snap back!
Cruelly to reality.

Smile

Smile to light up one's heart,
Smile is the way to start,
A beautiful day,
I must say!

Smile to make people ponder,
'Why is he smiling I wonder?'
Smile so that everyone around you,
Will smile with you too,
Smile when you're sad,
So that you wont feel so bad,
Smile when you're glad,
Till everyone thinks you've gone mad!
Smile everyday,
And life will turn gay,
Smile like there's no tomorrow,
And you'll be without sorrow,
Smile,
And today will always be the best day of your life!!!


Smile to your mum and dad,
And make their hearts glad!
Smile to your brothers and sisters,
So you'll get along better,
Smile to your friends,
So that for you they'll always bend,
Smile always,
Because someone special may be watching you!!

Smile because it cheers,
Smile because it dries tears,
Smile because it mends,
Smile because you have good intent,
Smile because it's boring,
Smile because you feel like smiling,
Smile because you're happy,
Smile because you heard something witty,
Smile because it's infectious,
Smile because it makes you look gorgeous,
Smile because you can,
Smile because it's God sent!!!

End each day with a smile,
As you lay for awhile,
In your bed so soft,
Before dozing off,
And you'll realize you'll smile,
In your sleep as well!!

Anything For You

Sometimes love just ain't enough,
Trust me I know it's tough,
But I'd walk to Heaven,
And I'd jump into Hell,
Give you more than I can give,
Give you more than all there is,
Give you more than love can give,
Give my life up so you can live,
You ask me 'what I would do?'
All I can say is 'what I wouldn't do?'
For you.

Of Sparks And Flames

What they say is true,
Sparks wont last our whole life through,
So I'll take these sparks,
Raise it into flames,
Which will burn,
At every turn,
As we age together,
Consumed by passion for each other,
Till the day we die,
Till the day we close our eyes,
And rest for all of eternity.

Tragedy

I saw her from across the room,
And in her hand was a broom,
Bent over sweeping up,
The broken pieces of her heart,
It was in a place like this,
Forty years back amidst,
The same sweaty crowd,
Swinging to the music so loud,
Where they first met,
Where they last met,
In the middle of the night,
Under the moonlight,
They were in each others arm,
When suddenly he came to harm,
A revengeful bullet to the head,
From a girl he forcefully bed,
In a drunken stupor,
In an earlier hour,
As he bled profusely,
She held him lovingly,
For the last time,
As she cried in pain,
He muttered an apology,
As he slowly faded away,
Eventually shutting his eyes,
Effectively cutting ties,
With the world,
His body cold,
At that moment,
You could almost hear,
The clear ring,
Of her heart breaking,
And ever since,
She haunted the place,
Trying to pick up,
Her broken heart.

Wrote this for fun a month ago.......I guess I'm just bored.

Something I Wrote Some Years Back

Found this in one of my old notebooks....lol!! Can't even really remember when and why and who I wrote it for. But what the hell I thought it'll be nice to post it here.

Your smile lits up my heart,
Your sadness dims my day,
Your laughter brings me joy,
Your tears....they tear me apart,
Your kisses takes me to heaven,
Yet when u push me away,
I fall into Hell.

Not Forgotten

It's been awhile,
Since we've met,
But I've not forgotten,
Cause the pain is real,
The agony hurting,
The anguish killing,
You appear in my mind,
Like a ghost that would not leave,
Stalking by day,
Haunting by night,
It's not your fault,
Only myself to blame,
I miss you,
Seeking comfort in the hope of meeting you soon.

Now What's That Feeling?

I didn't know,
I lost control,
One day I woke up,
And the feeling wouldn't go,
It was there,
Deep in my heart somewhere,
Bidding it's time,
Blossoming without sign,
It makes me scared,
It drives me mad,
As I clutch my heart in pain,
Holding back my tears in vain,
I beg for release,
Knowing this feeling would never give me peace.

擊鼓傳花遊戲

擊鼓傳花遊戲

遊戲介紹：
這是博客裏流行的擊鼓傳花遊戲，
傳給誰誰就得接著，否則就得受罰(會倒楣喔~)，
請認真對待，不要怕暴露隱私~

1. 被點到名字的要在自己的博客裏寫下自己的答案，
並且要加一個題目，並將加好的題目連同原來的一起，
傳到其他6個人還要到這6個人的博客裏留言通知對方...
你被點名了，被點名者不得拒絕回答問題，
完成遊戲的人將會永遠得到大家的祝福。（又是这种无聊的东西 -.-|||）

2. 這6個人要在自己的博客裏注明是在哪裹接到題的，
並且再想一個題目傳給其他6個人讓遊戲繼續下去，
不得回傳，被點到名字的人將得到大家的祝福，（又来？？？？！！！）
並且所有的美麗願望都會在不久的以後實現!!!（真的吗？）

3. 回答過的人,再次收到,可以選擇不答.
點名人：xiaoyan

Q1: 如果看到自己最愛的人熟睡在你面前你會做什麼?
A1: keep down the noise so the fella can continue sleeping?

Q2: 寫首自己最最喜愛的歌？
A2: erm.............hard choice..................but currently it's 'here tonight' by hale

Q3: 當你最不知道穿什麼顏色的時候，你會選擇什麼顏色？
A3: something that matches? maybe black

Q4: 2006年你最後悔的一件事是什麼？
A4: erm.......last year....forgot....

Q5: 曾經有過最被感動的事是什麼？
A5: seeing people giving everything helping others....cause I just cant do it.

Q6: 比較喜歡爸爸還是媽媽？
A6: makes no difference I suppose。

Q7: 你最想要的5樣東西是什麼？
A7: there's only one thing i want.......getting what i want whenever i want it.

Q8: 最後一次發自內心的笑是什麼時候 ?
A8: people actually keep track of that?

Q9: 如果給你一個機會去世界上任何一個地方旅行,是哪里 ?
A9: japan, and it's Tokyo fish market.

Q10: 如果時間能倒流你希望回到哪一天?
A10:hmm.......secondary school? had the most fun then.

Q11: 最想實現的三個願望是什麼?
A11: I'm too greedy to be tied down to just 3 wishes.

Q12: 我在你眼裏什麼樣 ?
A12: noisy, very very noisy.

Q13: 如果讓你擁有一種超能力，你願意擁有什麼呢？為什麼？
A13: mind control......telepathy......something like what Prof Xavier has but ten times more powerful and that I dont end up in a wheel chair.

Q14: 最喜歡哪部電影？
A14: All time fav? LOTR!!! Thought things like the notebook and the butterfly effect did leave a very deep impression.

Q15: 與喜歡的人見面,想要穿成什麼樣?
A15: obviously something that person feels comfortable with lah。

Q16. 你喜不喜歡我？
A16.oh yeah, totally! thought u get a little irritating sometimes。

Q17: 如何向喜歡的人表白？
A17: lol, if i were to be very very selfish, most of the time i would just tell the person straight。

Q18: 如果你愛的人不愛你怎麼辦？
A18: well, it's like...whatever right??！d

Q19: 你會選擇having *** before marriage嗎？
A19: lol, undecided really！！

Q20: 世界末日，你會倖存，並且你可以救一個人，你會怎麼做？
A20: erm...............save the most gorgeous girl who wont mind living all eternity alone with me?
either that or someone who'll be great to hang out with.

Q21: 你在乎別人看你的眼光嗎？會因眾人反對放棄想要的人事物嗎？
A21: All I can say is fuck off, I do what I like and when I like it. Other people's opinion count only when I make it count.

Q22: 想要擁有一個怎樣的聖誕？
A22: One with actual snow.

Q23: 如果我們不認識 ... 你還想和我做朋友麼 ?
A23: huh? I think I wouldnt have a choice. U so noisy it's hard to miss.

Q24: 對我的第一印象和現在的感覺 ?
A24: U were trying to hit me with a stick, now u tell me!!?

Q25: 你的他（她）遲到多久你會等?
A25: erm, as long as I'm still interested. Once the feeling fades, I suppose it's bye bye。

Q26: 在什麼時候會想到我 ?
A26: When I listen to lee hom?

Q27: 2007年最想幹什麼？
A27: Get rich。

Q28: 如果有天你死了,希望是什麼死法?
A28: Something dramatic yet not painful, sorta know I'm gonna die and like I'm leaving all my last words, insulting those bastards I hate and then shutting my eyes just like that with a smile on my face。Sorta happy cause all the lousy bastards still have to struggle with life.

Q29: 你愛的人沒錢，你還會嫁給他麼？還是找愛你而且很有錢的人？
A29: erm, well lets put it this way. I feel what counts is the future. The important thing if the fella has a future. I dont care if the fella's rich now! If the fellas gonna use up her fortune like in a blink of an eye. What's the difference between her and a poor person?!?!

Q30: 朋友到底是怎樣的?
A30: Dude u can hang out with and make u actually dont feel like going home.

Q31: 如何拒絕追求你的人？
A31: unless the fella comes up to me and says something out loud. I'll act dumb. If the fella actually has the guts to come up and say something, then well, I'll respect the fella and tell the fella the truth. Harsh or not that's one thing, but at least I showed u the respect u deserved by answering ur questions.

Q32: 最想做什麼動物?
A32: clown fish。

Q33: 你和女(男)朋友在路上碰到你以前的女(男)朋友,你會怎麼辦 ?
A33: I dont think that'll be a prob, I'm friends with everyone！

Q34: 覺得一直和一個人呆在一起會有一天厭倦嗎？（朋友或戀人）
A34: er.............i doubt i'll be bored, i can sit all day watching the wall and not feel bored.

Q35: 鬱悶的時候怎麼辦？
A35: listen to songs?

Q36: 最適合你發呆的地方？
A36: on my couch。

Q37: 你心目中理想的愛人是什麼樣子呢？
A37: i dont really set standards.

Q38: 你相信一見鍾情還是日久生情啊？
A38: both。

Q39: 在你的生命中，是友情勝過愛情，還是愛情勝過友情？為什麼？
A39: lol, sorry man the girl wins.

Q40: 最想要的公司福利是怎麼樣的?
A40: 12 months no pay leave per year?

Q41: 願意離開家到很遠的地方去追尋幸福嗎？
A41: no prob.

Q42: 你在大家面前和自己一個人時，差別有多大？
A42: suppose with alot less expression. I mean, can u imagine me laughing alone? that's sick.....unless i read a joke or was watching comedy.

Q43: 下面兩樣你更喜歡哪個？雪山還是大海
A43: the sea。

Q44: 你最崇拜誰，理由？
A44: myself, cause I was born great。

Q45: 如果胡錦濤讓位給你...你想如何改造中國?
A45: kick all the guys out and leave the pretty girls all for myself? I'm a horny dictator。

Q46: 如果你坐在一個面朝大海的窗前，有一個寫字臺，上面有一張紙一支筆，你想寫給誰，寫些什麼?
A46: I'll write something for myself, a poem maybe.........

Q47: 迄今為止，你幹過最尷尬的事是什麼？
A47: er...............hahaha driving half naked trying to put on my shirt when i bump into the front car and everyone nearby turned and looked?

Q48: 假如能選擇兩個日期(出生和死亡) 你會分別選擇? why？
A48: i'm fine with my b'day.....date to die..........maybe something with a 666 to it...sign of the devil. Wouldnt that be devilishly wicked?

Q49: 你覺得曖昧是一種幸福嗎？
A49: no, totally not.....it's tiring for goodness sake。

Q50: 你覺得跟我認識是相見恨早還是相見恨晚 ?
A50: well, makes no difference. u'll be just as noisy.........

Q51: 你被我點名的時侯 ,有咩感覺 ?
A51: felt kinda lazy............cause so many questions.....see, I so lazy untill didnt even bother to answer in mandarin.


Q52: 可以變身的話希望變成什麼?
Q52: invisible。

Q53: 你覺得男人跟公狗這兩種生物，有沒有什麼差異之處？
A53: if it were the same, why the hell give it a different name in the first place?

Q54: 你覺得呢個世界奸人多定好人多呢？咁點算好呀？
A54：nice people are hard to meet。and what's nice u say? I dunno, it's more of a feeling than anything else to me.

Q55: 如果你有10蚊澳門幣會做d乜?
A55: keep it till i need it?

Q56: 形容一下中國人...
A56: best in the world!!!!

Q57: 由初戀到 e+ 最深刻係那一段感情 ?
A57: er, no experience dont ask.

Q58: 你覺得自己的異性緣強嗎 ?
A58: so so lah...................

Q59: 請說出一個秘密...
A59: I hate all men. competition............

Q60: 對上一次內疚係做咩事?咩原因 ?
A60: er........why the hell would i ever feel guilty?

Q61: 有咩係你認為自己錯過左架呢？
A61: didnt play and study hard enough in secondary school. was always holding back on playing cause i felt bad and well....didnt really like studying.

Q62: 呢一個moment最想食ge係咩呢？(因為我好肚餓)
A62: when i'm hungry loh.....which happens quite often..........and i'll eat almost anything.

Q63: 我點你的原因...?
A63: a little confused?

Q64: 去廁所冇廁紙點算 ?
A64: i use water loh

Q65: 你大便後發現沒水沖?外面一大班人等著,你會 ?
A65: hahaha.....er......how leh.....dont care? lol!!!

Q66: 你最想了解你邊個朋友，原因？
A66: i dont really need to understand.......i just accept..........

Q67: 有冇比朋友出賣過？
A67: er....if got also i dont know bout it。

Q68: 現在覺得初戀情人在自己心中有乜地位？
A68: erm....stand for nothing.

Q69: 問女仔: 你鐘意男人有錢, 靚仔還是有學識?
(問男仔: 你鐘意女仔樣靚但身材差 or 有身材個樣衰呀?)
A69: I prefer a pretty face.

Q70: 問女仔: 如果你被搞大個肚, 你會點做?
(問男仔: 你搞大你女友個肚, 你會點做?)
A70: Be a man and be responsible bout it.

Q71: 如果給十億你，你會點樣用？
A71: give it to me and then u'll know.

Q72: 如果你對某人好好,但他良心當狗肺，你會點?
A72: lol, the bastard....will rot in hell。I'll just somehow forget how to be nice to that person anymore.

Q73: 你見到男友或女友同另外一人做愛做的事...你會做D咩?
A73: wait...did it happen when she's with me or what? and well, i guess we really need to talk.

Q74: 你最自豪的事?
A74: erm...........my whole existence?

Q75: 你突然很富有了,會不會...請我做事?
A75: only if i need you。

Q76: 你地覺得我為人怎樣啊?
A76: lets just say that u're a mess when u get emotionally disturbed。Need to fix ur own issues before I'll say u're truly truly nice.

Q77: 情人要求做愛但無安全套,附近亦無便利商店,願意冒險?
如不願意無需理會以下追加問題--(你會將"子子孫孫"放在裡面嗎?)
A77: lol, whats there to be shy off and well, dont think i'll risk it without protection?

Q78: 甚麼事情會讓你覺得幸福?
A78: a reassuring smile from the right people when I'm in doubt.

Q79: 初吻還在嗎?
A79: sadly to say.....damn。

Q80: 如果有一天,我快死了,你會對我說什麼?
A80: go with a smile！

Q81: 如果,你變成我了,你會...
A81: nope, i'll never ever wish i was a girl！！

Q82: 如何让自己更了解自己?
A82: it needs effort?

Q83: 要大方车还是大屋子？
A83:big house to keep all my cool gadgets that i'll someday get.

Q84:闷的时候会想到谁？
A84: Jessica Alba, lol............................nah....when i'm bored i dont think of someone.....i think of a whole gang of friends....and futsal/football............

Came Back From Redang

Well, I just came back from Redang island. Having went there for 4 days from the 26th of April till the 29th of April to take my scuba diving license course. And proud to say, I'm back on the mainland, now a qualified PADI open water scuba diver. HEHEHE!!!! The whole trip was AWESOME as I might have told or gave the impression to some of you. Loads of pictures taken. Lazy to post them now. But I will, if I find the time. Now busy chaffering people to the air port, bus station as I'm one of the few lucky asses who has a car in Terengganu(not my hometown). Oh yeah, also busy packing up my own stuff..........gonna go back tomorrow which is the 1st of May. Anyway, to them other UMT pals, happy holidays, and to my friends back in my hometown, can't wait to meet u guys. Cheers to another holiday well earned!!!!!

Of Sun, Sea, Sand & You

I'm in this world,
Of sun sea sand and you,
Where the sea gleams like an emerald under the sun,
The sky blue with white clouds floating aimlessly,
The sand as white as snow so fine,
The breeze comes in gently like the currents,
I stand there between land and sea,
My toes wriggling nervously in the sand,
Letting the waves wet my feet,
As I enjoy the most beautiful view of all,
A view of you waving to me with a grin on your face.

Being The Best For You

I see clouds,
But I don't see rain,
Cause I see you,
And your smiling ways,
Inspiring me,
Encouraging me,
To beat the rest,
To be the best,
To serve you,
To love you,
And never let you understand,
The feeling sad.

Just Some Crap I Wrote In My Head While Scuba Diving

Underwater I'm out of breath,
Realizing that I have hardly any moments left,
The fog in my masks starts to dense,
I feel myself loosing sense,
It's really funny how,
It's you that I think of now,
When my life slowly leaves,
I smile as I close my eyes in peace,
Contented that my last vision of life,
Is a beautiful vision of you.

Some Silly Game I Dreamt About

Let's play a silly game,
Turn around so we're back to back,
Walk ten steps and face each other,
And if our eyes meet,
You'll have to spend the night,
Here right next to me,
No matter how hard I try not to cheat,
I know I'll win,
Cause you're so beautiful,
I just can't take my eyes off you.

Dedicated To Those Who Suffered

Ever wonder what drives a person mad?
Emotions pilled up in one's heart so sad,
Until it becomes worst and worst,
Forcing the bubble to burst,
Eventually hurting others when it cannot be contained,
Causing the walls to be stained,
With blood and tears of regret,
Loss of life which price will never be met,
So we should try to understand our brothers,
Care about our sisters,
Save them before it's too late,
Because when it becomes fate,
A thousand horses could not pull back time.

Gone

Break my heart into a thousand pieces,
And let the wind blow it away,
I've walked to the gates of heaven.
Only to fall right into hell,
I had a beautiful vision of you and me,
Holding hands as happy as can be,
But all is lost with just a careless wave,
As you bade farewell to me,
Leaving me to fare alone,
To brave the currents of this world,
But what could I do?
For I am only a man dismayed,
Sadden by the sudden loss of someone loved,
Gone forever from the face of earth,
Braced for eternal peace,
I will cherish all that we shared,
Through all the centuries,
And immortalize your memory,
In my sad stricken heart.

There When Needed

When you're feeling blue sad and down,
I'll be there to fix your crown,
I'll lend my hand,
To help you stand,
Bare my shoulder,
And be your boulder,
I'll stay till your heart's at peace,
Till your suffering cease,
Till the break of dawn,
Till you smile and yawn,
Till you fall asleep to a blissful slumber,
On your bed in your resting chamber,
When you wake up I'll be gone,
With the wind for my work is done,
For though you own my heart,
I stake no claim to yours.

Consumed By Agony

You can't see my tears in the rain,
Just how you can't see my pain,
Hidden behind a smile,
Around you all the while,
How many times I came near,
Blurring out the truth but for fear,
That I'll make things worst,
Forcing this bubble to burst,
So I chose this slow torture,
Till my soul ruptures,
To suffer alone,
Consumed by agony.

You Would Still Be Loved

You would still be loved,
Even when you misbehaved,
You would still be loved,
Even if you we're not yourself,
You would still be loved,
Even when you look the other way,
You would still be loved,
Even if you changed,
You would still be loved,
Even when you leave,
You would still be loved,
Even if you would not return,
You would still be loved,
Even when you've found someone new,
You would still be loved,
Even if you've forgotten me,
Yeah.................... you would still be loved.

Under-currents

When you smile,
Tears linger in your eyes,
When you laugh,
Your soul cries,
Beneath the surface,
You're drowning in sorrow,
Reaching for breath,
Yet paralyzed by agony,
Your heart's bleeding profusely,
Numbed by the gripping pain,
Unseen by others,
As you suffer alone.

Butterflies In The Stomach

Have u ever realized?
That every time u materialize,
In front of my eyes,
My heart capsize,
My knees go weak,
And my brain starts to tweak,
Thinking up smart things to say,
Things that can make your day,
Things that can make you smile,
Things that can make u think about me every once in awhile,
Hell! I know I sound desperate,
And that I'm no expert,
But bear with me,
Cause I'm smitten by you and I can hardly control it.

Angel

She giggles like a girl,
Ties her hair up in a twirl,
Stares at the stars when she walks,
Skipping happily as she talks,
Her eyes glint mischievously,
Under the moonlight suggestively,
Putting me in a trance,
As we slowly start to dance,
Letting the night slowly fade away,
Till the horizon bursts with brilliant rays,
Suddenly she spreads her wings and take flight,
Rising further and further till she's out of sight,
And all she left me to remember that night,
Was her beautiful halo of white light.

Hey, Look Who The Real Culprit Is!!!!

Honestly, it's always the beer's fault.
I swear I tell the truth.
This comic strip proves it.
I am not an alcoholic.

Positive Thinking

I may not be daring,
But I am brave,
I may not own a heart of gold,
But at least it's not cold,
I may not be intelligent,
But I believe I have talents,
I may not be good looking,
But I am surrounded by darlings,
I may live in an odd world,
But I know how to fit in,
I may be just someone in this world,
But to some I am the world,
Knowing these gives me courage,
Keeps me happy without rage,
Makes me smile in the face of sadness,
Carries me up and fills me with gladness,
All those that try to put me down,
Will see their efforts fall to the ground,
Cause after all,
I am a pack of confidence,
Concealed beneath a skin of arrogance!!

Stuck In Some Boring Place

It's hard to rhyme,
In this place and time,
Where every thing's so bland,
Hardly stimulating my glands,
Where every thing's so mild,
Having nothing that turns me wild,
Where nothing happens out of the norm,
Making me wish I was back where I was from,
Where every thing seems a little crazy,
Bustling with activity it gets a little hazy,
Where everybody parties until the break of dawn,
Totally ignoring our bodies even when we yawn,
Where we sleep during the day to avoid the sun's fire,
And wake up in the night like as if we were vampires!!
Where life's so fast I doubt I'll last,
But it's still better than here where I feel like I'm living in the past!

I WANT BADLY!!!!!!

O2 XDA Stealth
LG KU800
PSP
Creative Zen Vision W
IPOD

If only I had the money to buy all of them eh? HMMMMMMMMMMMM................................;p

Walau!! What's Wrong With Me?!!?!

Tomorrow exam liao, I haven't finished studying. I can't seem to pay attention. Had lunch and now I feel really drowsy. Wanna take a nap but the weather is SO GOD DAMN HOT!!!!!!! Starting to feel a lil worried...........I mean, this isn't my strongest subject.
Urgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Feel like kicking something. Whens the hols ever gonna start?!?!!?!?!?

I'm Neji

Proud. Driven. You fix on your objective and stick to it. Some people may see you as cold or even cruel, but they just can't see past your prickly surface. At heart, you care about your companions and may be a little more sensitive than you'd like to admit.




Got this from some Naruto hardcore fan website. This was the result I got from it's personality test and I was branded Mr.Cocky, Neji. LOL!! kinda funny actually.

Just in case u guys don't know who Neji is.....here's a short introduction :

Neji Hyuga is ranked the number one rookie of his Ninja Academy's graduating class. He is one of the strongest Genin ranked ninjas out there. At the Chuunin Selection Exam, his teammates are Rock Lee and Tenten; and team leader Gai. Neji is also Hinata's cousin. Neji has one of the most effective fighting styles, using the Byukugan technique combined with his Hyuga Tai-Jutsu style, he can be a very deadly opponent.


If any of u guys want to try the personality test.......click here.

Came In The Mail

Love,
as if you've never been hurt,
Dance,
as if nobody can see you,
Sing,
as if nobody can hear you,
Live,
as if The Earth was Heaven!!

It's My Birthday

Another year another beginning,
I'm 20 years old and can't stop grinning!!
For I have faith in what the future brings,
Hot chicks and lovely beings,
Money money I'll get more,
Slick cars cool gadgets in my store,
I will set out to conquer,
And celebrate with liquor,
Obstacles leave my path when I ride,
Victory will come in glorious tides,
My confidence will not go and hide,
Cause this year lady luck sets her throne by my side!!!!

Phrase of the Day

Hard work pays well.

Answers Unanswered

All alone in the dark,
Thinking why I keep missing the mark,
Wondering what's the answer to life and existence,
Maybe it's all just a wasteful resistance,
After a long night's rest I wake up,
Sipping milk from my favorite cup,
Not knowing to what end I labor,
Guessing what goes on in the head of my neighbor,
Hopefully someday I will see,
After I've lived off all eternity,
That this slow drag will actually be,
The slow steps we take to our destiny.

Thought Of The Day

Just one chance,
Just one breath,
Just in case there's just one left.

ps: stole this off someone's blog.

Nice View

Just a pic i took in campus........freaking beautiful right??

Realization

Well I should have known,
After all that I've been shown,
How I've been such a fool,
Crying tears that fill a pool,
But who do I have got to blame,
When it is I who brought myself shame,
Now let's just let the past be past,
Cause life moves on fast so fast,
That when it is all finally over,
This all will be nothing next to forever.

Where Broken Hearts Go

I go where broken hearts go,
A place to cure mend and heal,
A place of peace and serenity,
A place I call sanctuary,
A place to learn and accept,
A place where I will recover,
So I will see a better and brighter future.

Fallen for a Small Town Girl

I've fallen for a small town girl,
Fallen for her honesty,
Fallen for her truthfulness,
Her straightforwardness lets me know,
What I see is what I get,
It's her innocents that soften my heart,
Sincerity that opens my heart,
Proving to me that this world still has beauty left.

Suppressed Feelings

All is lost I know,
Hanging my head down low,
I wet my pillow every night,
Crying till the break of light,
I know you love another,
So I choose not to utter,
How I truly feel inside,
Hoping this feeling will………eventually subside.

Short Phrase of the Day

I love not for the sake of love,
I love because I have someone to love.

Somebody Told Me

Somebody told me that based on her observation, she concluded that I'm the sort of guy who doesn't want a girl to rely on me. Says that I don't seem to want to sacrifice in a relationship.

Let me tell you the whole story, it started like this. With me telling her stories of my parents. Of how I know my dad worked his ass off all this years to support my family and how lucky my mum is having such a husband. Well, after hearing this story the girl said that I was suggesting that my dad suffered in having a relationship with my mother and that mum was the lucky one. But I totally disagree!! Because the thing is, I didn't tell her bout the part of my mother having to take care of the children when my dad didn't have time to take care of us, and all the other sacrifices that she made like the time when dad wasn't having much luck at work. I mean, mum was the one standing behind him all the while not blaming my dad for even one moment. So actually, my dad is also a very lucky man and I KNOW so.

Another thing that made this friend of mine think that I'm not willing to have a girl rely on me is that fact that I told her that I don't like younger girls, or rather I dislike immature girls. Well, the reason I gave was that I feel that I can hardly say I have a relationship if it is with a person who doesn't understand life like I do. But obviously, when I gave such a reason, it was taken the wrong way. She said it sounded like hated the thought of taking care of a girl.

So..............let me CLARIFY things here. First thing first, I don't believe in one sided sacrifices in a relationship. I believe, that for a relationship to work, both sides have to sacrifice. Thus, the reason why I prefer someone more matured. From experience, I have realized that matured people tend to be more sensible and understanding. That way, the relationship will be 2 ways not just one way. I mean, I want a relationship, not a 24 hour babysitting job!!!! Some guys may want a girl to take care of, but how long will that last? Till you're tired of always giving and not receiving? I mean, I know I'm human, and at the end of the day, no matter how tough I am, I still need support and I'm humble enough to accept being on the receiving end when that time comes. So, it's not that I don't want a girl that relies on me, not that I think that having a girl doing that is irritating. It's just that, at the end of the day, I want things to last and a one way relationship will die immediately when the heat is gone whereas a 2 way relationship will keep the fire burning till GOD KNOWS WHEN.

Off Sort

Too lazy to write a poem today. Just woke up and I feel like shit. Still tired, but I have to drag myself to study for the 2 test I'm having tomorrow. Not to mention the reports which are quite near their due dates. Oh yeah, I'll also be having another 2 test the day after tomorrow. 4 test in two days?

Cheers!!!!!!! -_-|||

Next week......oh, AWESOME! that's when my finals starts. So can't blame me for feeling just a little grumpy. Haih~ sometimes I really hope that......that is all that disturbs my almost peaceful life. Cause besides that, there's just some stuff much closer to the heart that plagues me. But somehow, I don't think I'll ever say a word about it to anyone. Suppose it's just one of those things that I know only I myself knows the answer. So those of you who actually care, don't bother asking......I'll play the fool and won't say a thing. I've been like this since I could remember, sometimes I must admit it makes me feel very lonely. Could be the way I've been brought up.............sounds silly......... I think one of the reasons I chose to be so self dependent on such matters is cause I keep thinking that guys should just be plain tough. It's not easy, but I've learnt to deal with it and get used to it. Really has made me very strong mentally, but still after so long..........it still isn't easy. U can get used to pain, yet u can never be immune of it eh?!?! Yet, I don't see the need to spill everything out to someone cause I myself knows best what I should do. Please don't take this as a sign that I don't trust people. But seriously, who likes a whiner? Moi's birthday is like just a stone's throw away, hopefully I'll be better off once I turn 20.

Just A Cup Of Tea

Maybe I should just stop guessing,
Make a move and just start chasing,
When I’m confused,
You seem so amused,
Every time u turn hot or cold,
I melt and freeze to your mold,
My emotion’s a slave to your mood,
My thoughts subdued to your need,
If you knew how you control me,
Physically mentally wholly,
Would you still be so cruel?
Twirling my life like it was just a cup of tea.

Glittering Glamor

You look stunning tonight,
your eyes sparkling innocently under the neon lights,
I wanna smolder you with kisses,
yet I'm afraid I'll spoil the mood,
So I resign to just staring at you all night,
watching you as you move gracefully around the room,
observing how the light reflects off your face,
how the light reflects off your figure,
Oh! how you stand out in the crowd almost obscene,
shining like a diamond amongst other gems,
sometimes I wonder if I'll ever stand next to you,
and not be shunned aside by your glittering glamor!!!!

Two Versions

Well, thought of a theme for a poem and ended up with two similar poems.....wonder which is better? If free, drop a comment. Thanks!!!!

Version 1

Hope you're here,
find your not here,
long for your touch,
find only wind that touch,
miss your voice,
find only my own voice,
Isolation becomes loneliness,
when you can't be found.


Version 2

Wishing you were here,
all that exist is a shadow,
longing for your touch,
all that touches is the wind,
missing your voice,
all heard is the voice in my head,
telling me,
Isolation becomes loneliness,
when you are not here.

Weakness From Within

Cold weather shall not touch me,
it is a cold heart that causes me to shiver with fear,
Alcohol shall not make me drunk,
I am drunk over the sadness that plagues my heart,
people may lash me with their tongues,
but yet it is the weakness from within that makes me breakdown and beg for mercy.

Again

Again you have your back facing me,
again I go unnoticed,
again you keep on walking,
again I get left behind,
again your hair floats in the wind,
again I stand watching in awe,
again you stop in your tracks to adjust your hair,
again I hoped that you would just turn around,
and finally notice that I was standing there waiting all this while.

Hidden with a Smile

When tears run dry,
and all left is a void,
I suddenly realize,
the worst sort of pain,
is hidden with a smile.

Hurting Only The Heart Knows How

When your tears drop,
and creates a splash,
I feel my heart beat stop,
even though just for a flash,
wishing to help,
yet knowing I myself am at a lost,
afraid to meet your eyes,
afraid to betray,
that when you're feeling blue,
my heart hurts only it knows how.

More Dead Than Alive

I try my best to look away,
but it just makes me want more,
I wanna brush your hair aside and whisper in your ears,
yet I'm afraid u might push me away,
I tell myself that nothings impossible,
and yet I still feel helpless,
wallow in despair,
quench my thirst with tears,
I may seem calm,
but its just a false front,
I know I'm putting myself at the edge of the knife,
but sometimes,
when such feelings flow,
I feel more dead than alive.